headlight

//24 December 2007 5:14 PM

"She's not attractive," I told myself. So i shouldn't have been feeling this way, right?

First of all, she was really funny. She said all the right things that cracked me up. Third, she liked Cantonese opera - and there were only two people in the world I knew who liked it: My grandmother.. and I. Even our creative opinions were compatible. So, why the mixed feelings? Why was I attracted to her.. but not? I only had a vague idea to explain this sense of doubt - something to do with my preconceived notions about The One. She didn't match The Image embedded in my mind.

As my mind fought my heart, my brain frantically searched for all sorts of imaginary things about her looks I was supposed to be offended about: Erm, the hair's wrong. She's wearing the wrong-coloured shoes. Erm, erm.. she's the wrong height! And before I knew it, I had messed everything up. My mind had put a false image over what my heart felt. As a result, I stopped feeling and started judging.

Yet every time we met, the feelings from our first encounter remained. Looking back, it was unmistakably a severe case of attraction. So when she came along, she was the answer to everything. I realised I gave up something precious. Her heart was gorgeous, and I have never known anyone else since than that I have clicked more. Looking back, this foolish mind should have given in to The Heart.

Parting was difficult, harder than I cared to show on my face. It killed me. I have no idea how I managed to utter that farewell, turn on my heel, and walked on. "I'll find another one," I foolishly thought to myself. I assumed every girl I would go on to meet would be as great as her, or more. I thought, the next one will have the right looks, and everything would be perfect. I was wrong. But now, it's clear. The Image is only that - a mirage. The Heart outlasts everything else.

FYI, the above doesn't particularly concern me. I read this in a magazine, and I felt that it's pretty true. That's it.