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//17 January 2008 9:05 PM

3 more days to attachment at the Institute of Mental Health for 2 weeks. I can't wait. HAH I'm kidding myself.

I just finished reading 2 books.

I read the first book for the second time while accompanying boyf to do his work in the library.

We also saw this really young kid - probably about Primary 3, doing her school work in the library. I'M VERY IMPRESSED.

I bought the other book partly because I found its title interesting haha. Here's one part I really enjoyed in the second chapter:

'Silver or gold?'
'Silver,' I replied. 'Or gold.' I peered hard at the samples in the catalogue again. 'Or silver.'
'Which?' asked Jo.
'Which do you like?'
She sighed. 'I want to know which lettering you like. I'm not sure.'
'Me neither.'
'Come on, Rob, I can't do this all on my own.'
I peered even harder at the catalogue of wedding stationery.
Why did we need to have place cards printed for the guests at all? Couldn't we just use Post-its or something? Or even let people sit whenever they felt like. We didn't need to decide about every single detail of every single thing, surely?
'Couldn't we just use...?' I began. Jo's eyebrows climbed higher and higher up her forehead as she waited for me to complete the sentence; finally, they reached an elevation that seemed to say, 'If the next word out of your mouth is "Post-its", then you'll die where you're sitting.'
I waggled my hands about a bit. '...ushers?'
'For God's sake, Rob - be serious.'
I imagined my face looked pretty serious already, but, for Jo's sake, I took a shot at getting it to look more serious still.
'This is the biggest day of our lives, babe.' she went on. 'Everything should be perfect - we won't get a second chance if we get it wrong. Let's get everything sorted in good time so there are no last-minute panics.'
'It's only just October. We've got nearly another three months yet. I mean, we could panic six weeks from now and it'd still be OK, wouldn't it? It wouldn't be anywhere near the last minute, even then.'

'Silver or gold, Rob?'
'Ohhh, I--'
'Just say which one you like best.'
'I don't know.'
'You must know.'
'Why? Why must I know? You don't.'
'I do. I know which one I like best. I simply want to see if you like that one best too.'
'I'm easy. Let's just have the one you want.'
'But I want to have one we both like.'
'Well, which do you like?'
'I like them both.' She shrugged. 'But I prefer the silver.'
'Phew.' I relaxed. 'Me too.'
'Do you? The silver? God - why?'
'What? What do you mean, "Why?" The same reason that you like it, I suppose.'
'I don't like it. It's awful. I like the gold.'
'But you just said you liked the silver.'
'I was testing you.'
'Testing me? Why would you test me? Why would anybody do that? Why would anybody test someone over the colour of the lettering on a wedding-reception place card?'
'Because I wanted to see if you liked the same thing, or if you were just going along with what I wanted.'
'What does it matter? What... hold on - why did you say "Silver", then? How did you know that to "test" me, you'd need to pick silver?'
'Oh, it's obvious. I know you, babe - I knew you'd prefer the silver.'
'Christ all shitting mighty! So you knew what you wanted, and you knew what I wanted too - and yet we've still sitting here for the last thousand years having this discussion. Why are we having this discussion?'
'Because I want to discuss the wedding with you: it's our wedding. When two people are getting married, they should be sure about everything, shouldn't they?'
'Jesus.' I closed my eyes and slapped myself on the forehead: astonished at how, despite my best efforts, I was unable to escape this conversation. A decision that I - that even I - hadn't seen it coming, now had me in its jaws and wouldn't let go. 'Jesus.'

Randoms.

- Yesterday morning I told boyf that I felt like clubbing, near 11:20pm when I was half-asleep Leza asked me out. Lol.

- Celebrity couples are breaking up. Ronald Susilo and Li Jiawei. 仔仔 and 大S.

- I was lying on my bed (after apparently being woken up by my mum at 9am), and I started to think about the unpleasant things that had happened. Then I realised that, somehow the unhappiness wins over the happiness more often than not. The only thing you can do is to focus on the pleasant things.

Make yourself happy.
It'll make your relationships better.
Thus allowing you to be even happier.

People with IQ of at least 85 should know the reverse of this equation.

- I squeezed a pimple last night before going to bed.

- I'm probably going to get myself a new job after the attachments.

So. This. Is. The. Main. Blogging. Stuff.

Yesterday boyf woke me up in the morning and we decide to have breakfast together, parents and all. Supposed to have McDonald's but the shao ye decided otherwise in the car so his parents drove to ShengSiong and had breakfast there. The both of us couldn't decide what to eat so we thought of buying some food back. In the end we bought 6 bags of stuffs (not all ours, obviously).

Anyway, we went back and got freaked out by a bloody huge bee-lookalike thing in boyf's room. Andasusualhewasthefirsttorunout, haha. I went to open the window and tried to throw a small ball of paper at it but it refused to budge. His mum was better, she came in and managed to chase that thing out.
We had snacks for breakfast and lunch, and I decided I wanted to learn to cook spagetti, even though we weren't hungry, because the other day his sister cooked spagetti for us and I felt ashamed hahaha! Thus, we did a simple meal and it was not bad. (:
We wasted time browsing through the television channels until about 7pm before we got ready to go Bugis. Very unfortunately, I realised I'd forgotten to bring my EZ-Link card, so we could only have our dinner at central. By the way, the satays were delicious.

On to a less brighter note, my grandpa is still in the hospital. He was transferred to St Luke's the day before but he went back to NUH on the same day because he wasn't feeling well. This is, I think, the 2nd time he's been there and back. I don't think he really wants to go there. In my opinion, he's psychologically making himself ill to get back to the hospital.

OH anyway, anyone has the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's or any other movies by Audrey Hepburn? I have the craving. Please tag me or something.

Dinner time bye!

//15 January 2008 6:15 PM

A few words before you start on the paragraphs of words (no pun intended):
This following is full of incoherent thoughts and quotes, so some things may be contradicting.

☆

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong

☆

Love is a narcissism shared by two.

Lou Marinoff wrote (from Fraud's theory) that two people who love and invest too much will eventually have problems as well.

"This can happen when two people become 'as one', as the saying goes - and are thus reduced to being just half a person each. Each one loves the other at the expense of him- or herself. Each one is therefore hollow, reliant on being loved by the other, with a diminished capacity for self-love, as well as a hampered ability to give and receive gifts of love in a wholesome way. If one were to lose the other on whom so much oneself depends, it would be tantamount to losing oneself.

The 'arithmetic' of this kind of love is bizarre: One plus one equals one, if you stay together, but two minus one equals zero, if you split apart."

☆

There's danger in loving somebody too much
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Sometimes love just ain't enough.

☆

Some things can only be seen clearly through tear-stained eyes.
If you don't go for perfection, you would be able to love further,
and live better.

☆

Sometimes you're close by,
Sometimes you're too far gone.

Sometimes you smile,
Sometimes you frown.

Sometimes you love,
Sometimes you can't be bothered.

Sometimes you are here for me,
Sometimes I have to console myself.

Sometimes it seems real that i am loved,
Sometimes it seems like a fantasy, a make-believe.

Sometimes I want you,
Sometimes I need you.

Sometimes, I fade away,
Sometimes I'll never come back.

Sometimes it just takes a little love to make everything sweet.
Sometimes all you needa do is make some magic with "I love you".

☆

We met each other only after such a big round,
I know how important you are to me more than anyone else.
After such a long silence, I've decided that after holding your hand I'll never let go again.

☆

Life is gonna be realistic and practical.
I dont wanna rely on you, but I have no choice.
The world is changing too quickly.
And I have to grow up. Fast.

☆

I hate how needy I get sometimes. I don't want to be like that.
I know I don't deserve love, I know I don't deserve you, I know I'm a terrible person, I know I take everything in my life for granted.

I wish I don't have anyone to answer to. I wish I'm only responsible for myself. But I guess life isn't like that. If Life was easy, it wouldn't be called Life.

There are always places we've yet to see, people we've yet to meet and kisses yet to be tasted. The best is yet to come.

☆

Life is so fucking short.
It's not worth it getting unhappy over small, stupid things in life.
Look at the big things in life.
Look at how beautiful they are,
and smile.

I'm going to think POSITIVE from now on. I'm going to join the Positive People Club; be positive. LIFE IS GREAT.

I hope you didn't see me roll my eyes.

☆

Everyone seems to be growing old. Seems to have aged. And it makes me rather scared and worried.

Baby, you're the most familiar thing to me..
I know the feelings can't be found elsewhere..
I love you.

//10 January 2008 11:45 PM

Hello, world.

Here are pichas of Yilian and Lixin teaching us the correct way of putting on a condom, on a banana.

I'm trying to go to bed by 12am so I'll post a short entry.

Let's see..
I have no idea why, but muscles near my shoulders are aching.
Boyf finally got his Gucci handphone strap for Christmas (belated). I have also added clothes into my wardrobe. I'm starting on my book-reading in the train on the way to school again. And I suddenly realised that I know quite a number of Jonathan(s). The last presentation of this semester will be done once and for all tomorrow. It's the first time I'm doing the powerpoint for presentations. I'll try to enjoy life as much as I can after that, before attachment begins.

In other news..
I saw Alfred today in school promoting and selling Giordano stuff, and he promised to find out something for me and then get back to me, but he didn't. #&@#%&!#

This post is very random. I shall end here now.
Goodnight, world.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (IN ADVANCE) TO HOCKYONG! :D

//01 January 2008 1:45 AM

HAPPY 2008, EVERYONE! AND HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY TO DADDY!

Updates.
Christmas at Mt Faber.

It wasn't exactly what we both expected, but it was nonetheless fun. (:

Complimentary (but a lil' dusty) gifts given by the restuarant.

The world's tallest Christmas tree, and The Jewel Box.

Chalet at NSRCC from the 26th-29th with family and boyf. Shall not elaborate 'coz I don't know how to start. It was great, though.

On the 29th, dad sent some of us home and I went over to dear's place after washing up to wait of his parents to return home. Then we went to his grandparents' place for their house-warming party. I think he and his sister were more nervous than I because they didn't know what to call who, haha. Anyway we walked straight into the house after eating and hid ourselves in the room to play cards with his cousins. By the time we opened the door out of boredom, everyone had left for home.

We walked over to Boon Lay Shopping Center to waste time before taking the bus to the area near HYSS, whatever it is. He had his first Moo's ice-cream and we took the bus to central to takeaway fried rice for ourselves, his mom and sister. Watched the television, went into his room and fell asleep.

Was supposed to go to 1nite stand that night but I was too tired. Sorry.

30th's morning I was forced awake by mum zzz. Went to the hospital with family and I was so slow in preparing I had to have my lunch on the car since I was hungry. My brother and I went home after that and met boyf to go swimming and tanning at JWSRC. Then we walked to central to have tze char for dinner and bought durians home to share with my parents. We could have been conned just like that but mummy went to find the durian seller just now and he gave us a free 2kg durian. He even dared to ask my mum if the one that has pale flesh was spolit. So he knew it was not good and nevertheless offered it to us. Wtf. I resolved never to buy durians without parents ever again. Lol.

I went to CutAbove for a treatment just now and they helped straightened my hair. I hope they remain straight argh.

Okay, I have nothing else to blog about.
Goodnight, world.

And HappyNewYear once again. ;b