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//29 February 2008 8:55 PM

I want us to go back to how we used to. I'm tired of the face I have to put up when I'm around you, just to show that I am not affected. I run away from you, because sometimes I dont know what to say. I dont like to hear what you're saying, what you're trying to make me understand. I know you're saying that because you care. I know it's selfish this way, but I just hate it. I hope everything will be okay again.

Fear and forgetfulness divert my steps, causing me to stumble to my knees.
Insecurity was the seed that bled my confidence dry.
Teaching me to stay cowered in the trapping torment of the bars that I built.

Good guys and nice people dont exist, dont last, cant provide, or cant give.
This is evidently true in the well-known quote: Nobody is perfect.

Parts of Ciara's Like A Boy:

Come On, Pull up your pants (just like him)
Take out the trash (just like him)
Getting your cash like him, fast like him
Girl you wanna act like he did
I'm talking 'bout, security codes on everything
On vibrate so your phone don't ever ring
A foreign account and another one he don't know about

Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that
Tell you I love you, but when you call, I never get back
Would you ask them questions like me, like where you be at
Cuz I'm out, 4 in the morning on the corner rolling, doing my own thing

What if I had a thing on the side
Made you cry
Would the rules change up or would they still apply
If I, played you like a toy
Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy

Girl go ahead and be (just like him)
Go run the streets (just like him)
Go home missin' sleep like 'em, Creep like 'em
Front with ur friends, Act hard when you're with them (like him)
Keep a straight face when you tell a lie
Always keep an air tight alibi
Keep it hid in the dark
What he don't know won't break his heart

If I was always gone
Hit the sun getting home (Would you like that?)
I told u I was with my crew when I knew it wasn't true
If I act like u
Walked a mile off in your shoes (Would you like that?)
Messing with your head again
Dose of your own medicine

Oh yeah today's the 29th of February LEAPYEAR. No big deal actually, 'cept for birthday babies and whatnot.

Amanda! Your blog doesn't have a tagboard so I can't tag, but please take care!

//15 February 2008 5:43 PM

Love becomes more than a stretched-thin combination of vowels and consonants when it is treated as a verb and lived out.

"I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” -When Harry Met Sally

Do you realise chick flicks give us girls unrealistic expectations of love? Or do you think we know deep down that those aren’t really true? And if we do know that they aren’t true, why do we devour them like it’s our job? When you satisfy your deep desires with spiritual and emotional junkfood, you lose your appetite for what is real and start to long for the junk itself. And this is a hard habit to break, but I think it does lead to unreal expectations - expectations that are far too low, though I feel the above seems like it's true to some extent. Lol.

Life is too richly complex to spend time comparing ours to others.

So. Anyway. Yesterday was out with Jonathan and we had a great time although we were merely wasting time. I've finished my papers! But I think I'd be taking a supp. paper for my Biology. I met up with him coz I had a lot of time before meeting boyf for lunch (which he didn't make it in the end). We went to and fro Junction8 and AngMoKioHub, met some of his friends and watched Jumper, with me munching on my durian swissroll. I have a craving for it again, urg. We wasted more time after the movie and I went home while he went to the pub with his friends. We also caught up with each other's lives and well, I definately got to know him better.

So there, I've blogged. And might be going down to Zouk later. Missed it.

If you're good, so be it. Just don't put people down. It sucks balls, and people don't look at you the same way any more.

//11 February 2008 4:48 PM

Exactly 25 days since my last entry. Here goes nothing..

Today is the fifth day of the Chinese New Year. Pictures are not out yet so only my collection will be shown here.

The cute guy at the top instructed me to pose like this lol!

Gambling is a must, but this time everyone is more interested in mahjong haha.
Something's not quite there though. Somehow, the spirit of this CNY seemed amiss without the eldest of the eldest. My grandfather passed on on the 20th of January. I supposed he had a relatively good life, what with 19 children and 60 over grandchildren and greatgrandchildren. He also managed to stay on until he had a last look at all his children and most third generations before leaving us for good at the hospital. It's probably considered a blessing. He was 82.

The funeral was held on that day itself. I think we had hundreds of photos taken and also a DVD of collected photos.

So, anyway, attachments at IMH and NUH's Obstetrics ward was really fun. The pictures below tell it all. I also managed to help out in a live delivery and saw a caesarean section but more about that the next time.

I have to blog a fast one because I'm leaving at 4:30pm. Till then!

By the way, my first paper and Valentine's Day clash #!%&$@% !
Nevermind, if you are in love, everyday should be VDay! Lol.